Friday, August 19, 2011

New's been forever. It doesn't really matter how long it's been, today I need to write something, say something, just put it down into words.

The beginning of July marked a new chapter in the Watts World. We left our home in WA and moved to CA to be close to family and a new job position (lighter stress load for Papa Bear). I'm miserable, I'm sad, I'm weak, I'm lonely, I'm angry, I'm unsure, I'm confused, I'm regretful, I'm frustrated, I'm scared, I'm sorry, I'm doubtful, I'm nervous, I'm stressed!!! There, I said it, now you know. Well maybe nobody knows...I don't have much of a blog following, but at least I got it out of me. I'm not pretending, I'm not holding hostage inside, and I'm admitting to sort of failure. Do I feel like a huge weight has lifted, I feel any better, I see a light at the end of the tunnel, not yet. What I do know is, only I can make it better, only I can see the opportunity before me, only I can be the example my kids need right now in this time of change. Easy to say...tremendously hard to accomplish.

How do I do this...I can't. I know I can't...but with the promises of God, my heavenly father...I know he gives me strength. I know he gives me direction, and I KNOW he forgives me my sins and my faults. He's leading me, even when I have no idea where I'm going. He's carrying me, even when I feel like I can't take another day. He's cheering me on, pushing me forward, holding me up. Thank you Lord, for doing what I can't...

1 comment:

Random Thoughts said...

Love you and praying lots! We miss you so very much also. It is like a hole is where you were but I know God's plans are always for us and not against us so hang in there and we will see what He has planned for you. I know it will be good whatever it is!